Shadouge In Hats
by WhatchaGonnaDoAboutIt
Summary: Lamas In Hats parody. Shadow as Carl and Rouge as Paul. I was bored so I decided to make this. There will be more then one chapter FYI. Enjoy and plz review. Also check out my other stories. WhatchaGonnaDoAboutIt
1. Chapter 1

**Rouge** : Shaddoww! There's a dead human in our house!

 **Shadow** : Oh…hey…How did he get here?

 **Rouge** : Shaaaadow, what did you do?!

 **Shadow** : Me? Uh, I didn't do this!

 **Rouge** : Explain what happened, Shadow!

 **Shadow** : I've never seen him before in my life!

 **Rouge** : Why did you kill this person, Shadow?

 **Shadow** : I do not kill people. That is…that is my least favorite thing to do.

 **Rouge** : Tell me, Shadow, exactly what you were doing before I came home.

 **Shadow** : Alright, well…I was upstairs…

 **Rouge** : Okay…

 **Shadow** : I was uh…I was sitting in my room…

 **Rouge** : Yes?

 **Shadow** : reading a book…

 **Rouge** : Go on…

 **Shadow** : And, uh, well this guy walked in…

 **Rouge** : Okay…

 **Shadow** : So, I went up to him…

 **Rouge** : Yes…

 **Shadow** : And I…I stabbed him 37 times in the chest.

( _Silence_.)

 **Rouge** : Shaaaaaaaaaaaaadooooow, that KILLS people!

 **Shadow** : Oh! Well, I didn't know that!

 **Rouge** : How could you not know that?!

 **Shadow** : Yeah, I'm in the wrong here. I SUCK.

( _silence_ )

 **Rouge** : What happened to his hands?

 **Shadow** : What's that?

 **Rouge** : His hands. Why—why are they missing?

 **Shadow** : Well, I kind of umm…cooked them up. And ate them.

( _silence_ )

 **Rouge** : Shaaaaaaaaaadooow!

 **Shadow** : Well, I—I was hungry. And well, you know, when you crave hands…

 **Rouge** : Why on earth would you do that?!

 **Shadow** : I was hungry for hands! Gimme a break!

 **Rouge** : Shaaaaaadoow!

 **Shadow** : My stomach was making the rumblies.

 **Rouge** : Shaadow!

 **Shadow** : That only hands would satisfy!

 **Rouge** : What is wrong with you, Shadow?!

 **Shadow** : Well, I kill people and I eat hands! That's—that's two things!

 ** _~WhatchaGonnaDoAboutIt_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Rouge** : Shadow! What on earth was all that?

 **Shadow** : I'm not sure what you're referring to.

 **Rouge** : You sunk an entire cruise ship, Shadow!

 **Shadow** : Are you sure that was me? I, I would think I'd remember something like that.

 **Rouge** : Shadow, I watched you fire a harpoon into the captain's face!

 **Shadow** : That sounds dangerous. Rouge: You were headbutting children off the ship!

 **Shadow** : That, uh... that must've been horrifying to watch!

 **Rouge** : Then you started making out with the ice sculptures!

 **Shadow** : Well, thank God that the children weren't on board to see it.

 **Rouge** : Uhh.. Shadow why is the lifeboat all red and sticky?

 **Shadow** : Well I guess you could say it is red and sticky.

 **Rouge** : Shaaadoow, what are we standing in?

 **Shadow** : Would you believe it's strawberry milkshake?

 **Rouge** : No! I would not believe that!

 **Shadow** : Uhh, melted gumdrops?

 **Rouge** : No.

 **Shadow** : Boat nectar?

 **Rouge** : No.

 **Shadow** : Some of God's tears?

 **Rouge** : Tell me the truth Shadow!

 **Shadow** : Fine. - It's the lovely elderly couple from 2B.

( _Silence_ )

 **Rouge** : SHAAADOOW!

 **Shadow** : Well they were, uh, they were taking all the croissant rolls.

 **Rouge** : I can't believe what I'm hearing!

 **Shadow** : I will not apologize for art.

 **Rouge** : Where are the other lifeboats?

 **Shadow** : Whoa! You won the prize, I didn't even notice that.

 **Rouge** : Where are the other lifeboats, Shadow?

 **Shadow** : Looking at the trajectory of the moon and the sun, probably at the bottom of the ocean. I bit lots of holes in them.

 **Rouge** : SHADOW!

 **Shadow** : I have a problem. I have a serious problem.

 **Rouge** : You are just, terrible today!

 **Shadow** : Shhh! D'you hear that? That's the sound of forgiveness.

 **Rouge** : That's the sound of people drowning Shadow!

 **Shadow** : That is what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence.

 ** _~WhatchaGonnaDoAboutIt_**


	3. Chapter 3

**Rouge** : Shaaadoow, we're suposed to be on vacation!

 **Shadow** : I don't know about you, but I'm having a lovely time here.

 **Rouge** : You toppled the South American government, Shadow!

 **Shadow** : The people have spoken, Vidia La Resistance.

 **Rouge** : You pushed the resistance leader into a _GIANT FAN!_

 **Shadow** : He was a traitor and a scoundrel.

 **Rouge** : He was trying to stop you from pushing other people into a _GIANT_ _FAN_!

 _ ***kick***_

 **Shadow** : Wow, that was a foot. It appears I have swallowed an entire person.

 **Rouge** : That would be the hotel bartender.

 **Shadow** : Well that makes sense why my macchiatos was taking so long.

 **Rouge** : It was horrifying, your mouth unhinged like a snake.

 **Shadow** : Wow, that sounds pretty awesome.

 **Rouge** : I can't go any where with you, Shadow!

 **Shadow** : That hurt my feelings, now we're both in the wrong.

 **Rouge** : I wonna go home, we're leaving.

 **Shadow** : In that case, I should probably mention that I filled our luggage with orphan meat.

 **Rouge** : Wh-what?

 **Shadow** : Well, I'm building a Meat Dragon and not just any meat will do.

 **Rouge** : You know what? Forget it! I'm not even shocked any more.

 **Shadow** : Oh, thats no fun.

 **Rouge** : This has become the norm for you, Shadow!

 **Shadow** : I'll have to try harder next time.

 **Rouge** : Please don't.

 **Shadow** : I feel like I've issued a challenge.

 **Rouge** : Shaaaaaaadoooooow!

 **Shadow** : It's to late now. You.

 **Rouge** : You?

 **Shadow** : I've totally don't remember your name.

 **Rouge** : What?! We've been married for three years, Shadow!

 **Shadow** : And what an impression you've made.

 **Rouge** : My name is Rouge.

 **Shadow** : What?

 **Rouge** : I said my name is Rouge. Rouge the Bat.

 **Shadow** : Oh, I thought you were a cat.

 **Shadow** : Why would you think that?

 **Shadow** : Mostly the ears, are you sure?

 **Rouge** : Of course I'm sure!

 **Shadow** : Well... If you excuse, me I have some pictures to edit on my computer.

PS he is editing to make it look more bat like and realistic .

 ** _~WhatchaGonnaDoAboutIt_**


	4. Chapter 4

**Rouge** : Shaaadow, you've tracked mud all over the carpet!

 **Shadow** : Now that right there is a mess...

 **Rouge** : I just had it cleaned yesterday, Shadow!

 **Shadow** : I'm not responsible for this - I've been jamming on the saxophone all morning.

 **Rouge** : They're clearly your footprints, Shadow!

 **Shadow** : Then there is an imposter on the loose!

 **Rouge** : They lead directly to you!

 **Shadow** : Clue number one: The imposter is a phantom.

 **Rouge** : Shaaadoow, stop avoid-

 _ ***BOOM!***_

( _Silence_ )

 **Rouge** : SHAAAAAAADOOOOOOW!

 **Shadow** : Happy birthday!

 **Rouge** : It's not- please tell me you had nothing to do with this.

 **Shadow** : Why don't you blow out your birthday candle?

 **Rouge** : You've gone too far this time, Shadow!

 **Shadow** : What? It's hard to hear you over the sound of melting city.

 **Rouge** : How did you even do this?!

 **Shadow** : A dollop of fairy dust.

 **Rouge** : Shadow-

 **Shadow** : I ripped the tag off a mattress.

 **Rouge** : This isn't funny, Shadow!

 **Shadow** : Who's laughing? Clearly not all the people who just exploded.

 **Rouge** : I'm leaving. I've had enough of this.

 **Shadow** : But think of all the perfectly roasted faces we'll get to munch on now.

 **Rouge** : What? Why?

 **Shadow** : Because we're married. And love is two pals munching on a well roasted face together.

 **Rouge** : That isn't love, Shadow! That's just sick!

 **Shadow** : Well, then you're probably not going to like your birthday decorations.

 **Rouge** : It's not even my - Oh my God.

( _Faces that have been ripped off of the body, and are attached to balloons, fly in._ ) 

**Shadow** : Surprise!

 **Rouge** : Oh... Oh no. Aww...

 **Shadow** : I'm sorry, I thought you liked faces. Obviously there's a miscommunication.

 **Rouge** : This is awful, Shadow.

 **Shadow** : You're right. It's not nearly as tasteful as I pictured it in my head.

 **Rouge** : I think I'm gonna throw - Oh, sick one of them just touched me!

 **Shadow** : This was clearly not the way to go.

 **Rouge** : Ya think, Shadow?!

 **Shadow** : What can I say? I expected them to be cooked more. Raw face is just gross.

 **Rouge** : But that isn't the problem, Shadow! Why would you think any of this was a good idea?

 **Shadow** : Probably because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.

 **Rouge** : Oh.

 **Shadow** : I don't understand how you keep forgetting that. 

_**~WhatchaGonnaDoAboutIt**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Rouge** : Shaaaadooow!.. I know you've done something.

 **Shadow** : Whatever do you mean?

 **Rouge** : You've always done something. It's a lovely day out, we're having a good time. What have you done?

 **Shadow** : You mistake me for some sort of scoundrel.

 **Rouge** : Shadow!

 **Shadow** : I am a respected member of the community… to even insinuate...

 **Rouge** : Ok Shadow, so what did you do today?

 **Shadow** : Well let's see, I washed the car.

 **Rouge** : Uhuh.

 **Shadow** : I made a donation to the local girl scout troop.

 **Rouge** : Sure.

 **Shadow** : I returned an overdue movie at Blockbuster.

 **Rouge** : What else?

 **Shadow** : Hmmm, I stepped on a ladybug by accident.

 **Rouge** : Go on.

 **Shadow** : And… I baked some banana bread for our neighbor Sonic. I believe that's it. Done.

 **Rouge** : That's it…

 **Shadow** : That's all I did today… I-

 _(A Portal appears)_

 **Shadow** : Ohhhhhhhhhh...

 **Rouge** : Shaaaaaaaaadoooooooow! What on earth is that?!

 **Shadow** : I may have forgot to mention one of my activities.

 **Rouge** : Shaaaaaadooooow!

 **Shadow** : I apologize, that was wrong.

 **Rouge** : Explain Shadow!

 **Shadow** : Well from here it looks like a weather balloon.

 **Rouge** : I'm not in the mood for this!

 **Shadow** : I think it's just a lens flare and some dust.

 **Rouge** : Just tell me Shadow!

 **Shadow** : Fine, I may have created a crack in space time...

 _(Baby hands start coming out of the portal)_

 **Shadow** : Through which to collect millions of baby hands.

 **Rouge** : Huh.

 **Shadow** : What do you mean, huh?

 **Rouge** : I think I was expecting worse.

 **Shadow** : Worse? But this is totally fugged bro.

 **Rouge** : I know but after last time with the nuke and the faces, it's just…

 **Shadow** : Come on, look at this. How did I even do this?

 **Rouge** : I don't understand how or why you do anything.

 **Shadow** : Do you know what it feels like to be Shadow right now? It hurts. Not as much as the babies, but it hurts.

 **Rouge** : Uhhh Shadow.

 **Shadow** : What?

 **Rouge** : Why are there only hands from White babies?

 **Shadow** : Well, you know, Whities gotta pay.

 **Rouge** : Oh.

 **Shadow** : And the payment is baby hands.

 ** _~WhatchaGonnaDoAboutIt_**


End file.
